Day 1: This Wretched Place

Author’s disclaimer: This post was written last night but hasn’t been published until now because of poor cell reception

Alright. Let’s pro/con this whole join-the-army-travel-the-world-and-see-exciting-places scenario. Pro: You actually will travel. Con: Most of the time it’s within ten or so miles from your house, but there are times when you actually leave town. I’ve done that three times in the last year. Three times I have packed my bags and driven the god awful 8 or so hours to Fort Polk aka satan’s asshole.

And there are two things that always hit me right as soon as I get off the bus.
1. The ungodly heat and the humidity. It’s like opening an oven and sticking your face into the opening when it’s running at 450 degrees. Not fun.
2. The fucking bugs there. I have no idea how they survive in the weather in Fort Polk. But they are annoying persistent and extremely irritating fuckers. (Got bit within an hour of being there. Not very happy). Between the typical fire ants,mosquitos, and chiggers, you only have a few types of savage insect life covered. I saw insects today with their asses connected and with two heads. And they wanted to cuddle with me. A few swats at them conveyed my feelings to them.

But anyway. Back to business. We got their and I dragged my box of equipment into our housing unit. Think mobile home but it can fit 50 people comfortably on cots. I immediately got to work. Unloading the box and charging batteries. That’s my main job when I’m not talking on the radio. Charging batteries. The only hard part is telling when the batteries are charged. The charger I use shows green, yellow, or red. Now. Thanks to my weird genetics and the makers insane idea of putting yellow and green next to each other, my color blindness really kicks in. Everyone thinks I’m crazy when I check batteries. Cause I have to put my face about five inches from it.

Next item on the list was radios. My children. 5 different types and 4 operating systems. It’s a bit to remember. Between programming them for a test run and finding their equipment, it took a bit. One didn’t have a battery holder, so I spent a good half hour making a sling out of 550 cord (paracord for you civilians out there). Needless to say, I managed to impress a redneck with the ingenuity of it. Score for me.

Food. I’ll elaborate about the major rectal explosions (MREs) the army feeds us for lunch and when we go on mission. But. The cooked meals here aren’t bad. Fried chicken, potatoes, angel food cake and applesauce ain’t bad eating.

Anyway. The lights are now out. I’ll have to be signing off. I’m exhausted so I know I’ll sleep well. Which is good cause last night was about 4 hours maybe of catnaps.

Until next time, Bulldog36R signing out


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